Do you have a peaceful place, a little square of quiet somewhere in your busy world? With a wild preschooler and a growing toddler, no corner in my home is untouched by activity and happy noise, but as I was cleaning up in preparation for company last week, I took a moment to notice the temporary peacefulness of my front porch. I wish that it was on a country lane instead of a much-traveled street, but even so, we’ve created a tidy, cheerful face to greet the world and welcome it inside. 

On Saturday we joyfully witnessed the vows of my husband’s youngest brother and his long-time love!  The ceremony was simple and lovely.  The bride’s teenage daughters were her beautiful Maids-of-Honor, and her son served as Best Man.  The sight of the newly formed family together at the front of the church promised that my eyes weren’t dry!  Little hints of autumn set a beautiful color scheme and a warm atmosphere.  The bridesmaids wore chocolate brown gowns, and the silver accents all around added a bit of magic to everything.  The flowers incorporated white, yellow, and an orange that was so orange I could almost taste it!  Gorgeous.

I love weddings.  I love the Holiness of the promises made.  I love the romance, the food, the care that goes into every decision.  But even if they had stripped away all of the special details, this would have been an uncommonly special wedding.  My new sister-in-law and her kids have been as good as family for nearly as long as my husband and I have been married (more than eight years).  We love all four of them, and we are delighted to make them “official.”

And guess what!  A certain orange cap is finished.  Whoopee!  Although the top didn’t turn out as I had envisioned it, my little man looks quite handsome in his first mommy-made accessory.  I’m still totally in love with the yarn—the color and quality.  This was the first time that I used a circular needle for a hat, and I enjoyed the process very much.  My knitting was unusually even and smooth.   Maybe it was the yarn or the needle, or maybe I’m actually improving.

I’m noticing a weird trend.  Every year, in late October, I start to feel anxious.  I get sort of panicky, overwhelmed, and dissatisfied.  I begin to feel inadequate and question all the busy-ness in my life.  I call it Midterm Syndrome, and although the Syndrome has come upon me almost every year for more than a decade, I am still (somehow) always caught by surprise.  I reach that point in the semester when I realize that time is slipping by too quickly.  The workload is increasing , but the time until finals is disappearing all too fast.  I find myself in the closest that I ever get to “depression,” and I finally ask, “Hey!  What’s happening here?”  And only then do I realize that Midterm Syndrome has struck.  If you look through my previous journals, you would see a very obvious pattern, but oddly I never anticipate the onset.

In the past, I have cured the mucky symptoms by weeding out some of my “extra” activities.  Each fall, I seem to drop out of things or delegate responsibilities to others.  But over the last year, I have been making a conscious effort to simplify (Some of you who know me well are probably chuckling at that!), so I feel like I’m already down to the minimum.  There are no more activities to zap from the schedule.  The things that I do now require very limited time.  So when Sunday evening and Monday morning left no doubt that the Syndrome had arrived, I felt lower and more overwhelmed than ever before.  What can I do if there is nothing to drop out of?  So I moped a bit.  I had a quiet, lay-low kind of Monday.  I cleaned.  And finally, I made a decision to look forward.  I already had plans to have my older son’s friends and their moms (my friends!) over to our house on Tuesday, so I happily wrapped myself in their company.  I relished the sound of seven happy little kids in my home.  I enjoyed the smell of the oddly shaped and wonderfully messy homemade pizzas that they created.  I had a cute cupcake and some homemade chai.  I laughed with other moms and marveled at my husband’s ease in the kitchen and in conversation with my mommy friends.  Then this evening, my family enjoyed Bible study and fellowship with some other friends.  It felt good to be with them after a few weeks of missing our bi-monthly time together.  So what was the cure of Midterm Syndrome 2009?  Friends.  I realized during this bout with my annual slump that the answer is the decision to be thankful, to understand that God has blessed me with friends and family and opportunities to laugh and to love.  Maybe that sounds terribly cliché, but next October, I’m going to keep away the irksome blues with a big ol’ bash at my house.  Wanna come?

Okay, I confess.  I dislike Halloween.  I don’t like its questionable spiritual origins.  I don’t like that it brings gross candy into my house that I don’t even want my child to have.  (This point, of course, excludes Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups and other forms of good chocolate…not the cheap waxy stuff that is as counterfeit as all the princesses parading around on the 31^st.)  As a kid I was freaked out by the notion that my parents would actually want me to knock on the doors of strangers’ houses, talk to the strangers, and ultimately take candy from them.  What?!  We didn’t have any real neighbors, so Mom drove us to our grandparents’ neighborhoods.  It took me years to figure out that although these mysterious figures were strangers to me, many of them were the same folks who gave my parents candy when they were little trick-or-treaters.  But even once I concluded that my mom and dad weren’t try to lure me into the hands of would-be kidnappers, I still disliked this pseudo-holiday.   What are we celebrating anyway?

But here is what I do like about Halloween: creativity.  I remember lying awake at night designing an alarm clock costume when I was in the fourth grade.  I explained it in detail, and together my parents and I made my late night musings come to life.  We used cardboard, Styrofoam, aluminum foil, felt, yarn, an actual alarm clock, tights, sticky numbers, and paint.  The results were fantastic, and I won First Place!  What a proud moment.  All of my costumes were homemade…sometimes by me, sometimes my mom, even my Aunt Georgia made a poodle skirt and a Rainbow Brite.  Now, I’m making costumes for my own children, and while I still frown at the spooky death stuff and cringe at the thought of cavities and tummy aches, I look forward to my little guys saying some September (or perhaps on October 30^th !!) “I wanna be a…,” and I’ll say, “Okay!  Let’s do it!”

 This year we followed our recent enthusiasm for all things pirate-y and created a pirate and his parrot sidekick.  While pirates aren’t exactly upstanding citizens, they aren’t so scary that I can’t wrap my innocent four-year-old in such garb.  Thursday was the costume party at school.  Big fun there!  On Halloween night we went to a church’s Halloween Fest that celebrated the Light rather than the creepy darkness.  Carved pumpkins served as lanterns all around, and white lights were strung around the church yard and the church itself.  There were traditional games like bobbing for apples (and peppers!).  And of course, lots of candy and fun costumes.  Not too bad…

I long for the time when I can finally return to living in the country. I daydream about a big backyard that naturally blends into the surrounding forest.  I think about apples trees and a pumpkin patch of my own.  I wish for bird feeders and maybe a trout stream.  But this week, my boys and I discovered some urban beauty.  We enjoyed a sunny autumn walk in the city.  I have to admit that it was gorgeous.

We walk these streets several times each week, but this time we explored with an eye toward discovering Autumn’s blessings.

There was much to find.  The sky couldn’t have been any bluer, the leaves any brighter.

I’ve been away from the computer over the last few days. Lots going on. I’ll be back soon.

(The following post was supposed to be up Wednesday evening.  Oops!)

I set a goal…orange hat completed in time for the pumpkin patch field trip.  Well, I didn’t quite get there.  Unfortunately, I’m grading a mountain of 4 to 6 page essays this week so knitting time as been scarce.  Fortunately, a turn in the weather produced a 65 degree morning with an ultimate high over 70.  No wool cap needed.

The field trip was a rousing success.  The army of four year olds and many of their parents approached the farm with enthusiasm for the great hunt and a spark of that unmistakeable charm that occurs when you bring together pumpkins, crisp air, and fresh apple cider.  The day was beautiful–especially appreciated after the uncomfortable douse of wet weather last week. 

Sad confession:  I only know of the beauty and the charm because Daddy took the camera along.  I, on the other hand, continued to comment upon the aforementioned college essays in our attic/office.  Yes, I had to forgo the smells of cinnamon and earth and all the autumn splendor of the day.  But don’t feel too sorry for me.  I take great joy in knowing that my little son could share the fun with his Dad.  Not many kids can have their fathers along for a weekday adventure.  We are so blessed to live the life we lead.

 So I leave you with this photograph to summarize the day.  My hubby got to put aside Melville for an afternoon among the pumpkins (the gourds and the ever-so-sweet preschool kind), and the cap has seen significant progress but no outdoor time as of yet.

(Note: this pumpkin, though small, was chosen to come live with us because it had a “crook.”  Good choice.)

Stereotypes are funny.  Everyone seems to know people who confirm stereotypes, and we can always think of exceptions.  Well, this weekend I spent time being an exception (and I think there are lots!).  I was my “sorority girl” self on Saturday.  I don’t know if anyone is reading this who doesn’t know me personally, but if that’s you, I am nothing like the sorority stereotype.  I’m not Elle Woods.  I never get manicures.  I don’t drink alcohol.  Never have.  I have only a few pink garments.  I’ve always been serious about academics, and I’ve never been to a fraternity party.  Let me explain…

In 2006, I was approached by a friend to become an alumna initiate of Alpha Sigma Alpha, a National Panhellenic Conference organization.  I saw it as an exciting opportunity to make some new friends and more importantly, to volunteer my time to help young women reach their goals and make the most of their college years.  I’m now a national volunteer as a member of my district’s Education Coaching Team.  On Saturday I traveled with a fellow ASA alumna about two hours to meet with the members of an ASA colony and offer my support as they work toward becoming a full-fledged chapter.  The group was a local sorority that is now “going national.”  So my companion and I also spoke with the alumnae of the local sorority about becoming alumnae initiates of Alpha Sigma Alpha.  Although tentative at first, these women warmed up to us pretty quickly, and they seemed truly appreciative of the information that we provided.  I admired their dedication to the organization that they worked hard to establish, and they obviously cared a lot about the college women who are making the transition from the local to the new ASA chapter.  And guess what…they brought cookies!  Yummy, homemade, perfectly iced cookies.

So as I traveled home, loving the gorgeous fall foliage between the ceaseless raindrops, I thought about the contradictions that make life complex and interesting.  What do we assume about people based upon their associations, their interests, their friends?  How often might we dismiss a potential friendship or opportunity because it’s not a good fit or it doesn’t fit our image of ourselves?  I thought about the local Alpha Gamma members.  They dreamed up an organization with beautiful traditions and methods that are meaningful to them, and they are now watching those details change, evolve.  If we embrace the evolution around us–whether changes in ideas, people, practices, or even ourselves–we might be open to some pleasant surprises.

And it never hurts to have a good cookie on hand.

Fall has taken a surprisingly cool turn.  Snow has appeared in the forecast and on morning door steps.  The proverbial frost on the pumpkin is quite real.  Makes me want to sit down with a cup of Earl Grey and You’ve Got Mail.  Unfortunately, instead of delving into the yummy, cozy rituals of a cold (and rainy) autumn, I’ve been doing a lot of nose wiping and other related activities.  Hmm…now that I think about it, these are the rituals of autumn and the months ahead.  At least for a mommy. 

But despite the tiredness that comes with broken sleep for several nights coupled with the worrying that inevitably comes at the time of a little one’s illness, I’ve been quite productive in my knitting.   Two weeks ago, I completed a small blanket for my new godson.  That project took five months!  While I loved the yarn (good quality washable wool in Caribbean Blue and white) and was fond of the pattern, I confess that the slow progress made me lose my zeal for the project part way through.  In the weeks before the baptism, however, I found myself falling in love with that dear blanket again.   I loved how it felt between my fingers, and I loved imagining the baby wrapped in it or resting on it while his mama tickled his toes or read him a story.  Many prayers and warm thoughts went into that blanket.

As I finished the blanket, my four-year-old asked if he could have a hat.  He had never asked me to knit him something before, and while I often look at wonderful patterns for fun little boy garments, all my knitting seems to be gifts for others.  Neither of my boys has any finished items made by me.  (Although they are fortunate to have a number of beautiful pieces knit and crocheted by people whom we love and who love us.)  So the baby blanket was delivered to its wee owner on a Saturday; on Monday I made a trip to my favorite local yarn shop.  I stole thirty minutes of bliss—stroking skeins, browsing hat patterns, comparing needles.  I confess that the shopping and the planning are as exciting (if not more) as the actual knitting and completing of a project. 

To match his new fall jacket, I chose a muted orange wool and an accent color called “Ash.”  And now I’m knitting, knitting, knitting.  I’m snatching every little moment that I can.  I want this wool cap to be upon my little guy’s head when he goes to the farm on Wednesday for his class field trip (assuming his health improves).  And while I would never wish a cold on any child, a stuffy, feverish little boy needs an early bedtime, and therefore, mama gets to knit!

I have a sick little boy.  Poor guy.  It started with a bit of a stuffy nose, a little touch of a headache, but now we’ve got a full blown…um…cold?  Not sure how it’s going to play out.  We’re watching him closely and keeping the grape Tylenol nearby.  I’m not big on medicines at all, but the difference between a little man with a fever and a little man on the purple stuff is remarkable. 

So tomorrow is going to be a cozy, stay-at-home day.  We’ve got the Lite Brite, and I’m ready for a Candyland marathon.  Of course, the little brother prefers to cut teeth on the game pieces.  I guess he can’t resist Grandma Nut and the gang.

What do you do on a sick day?  Better yet, what did you do when you were a kid?